How I died and got my man back. Pt1


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I knew the plan I had come up with was crazy. But what choice did I have? I wasn’t going to let this opportunity pass me by. I happen to stalk people on social media. A lot. But this was taking it to a whole new level. Wedding crashing. Yes! I had decided to crash my ex boyfriend’s sister’s wedding. Why, you might ask? *rolling my eyes* well, in the early days of our break up, I was so angry, jealous and hurt that I deleted Kunle from every social media platform.  And we hadn’t spoken in months because I was too proud to reach out again. But I must confess, I did miss him and wanted to see him again.

So, what was this grand plan? Well, nothing out of the ordinary. I happened to be in contact with one of his cousins. So, I approached him and asked to be his plus one to the wedding. He did think it was a bad idea but I was very persuasive *smug* I had two weeks to get myself together for the wedding. And I went all out. The idea was to look so good Kunle would go on his knee and ask me to marry him on the spot. Lol. Just kidding.

So, here comes the d-day. I had on a white ball gown with a black bodice. Yeah, yeah. Dramatic but, *shrugs*. I walked into the event centre with my arm in Vincent’s arm (that’s the cousin in this story). We walked over to our reserved seats, and then I spotted Kunle across the hall. “Damn! Why does he have to always look this good?” I thought. At this moment, I lost track of time and what was happening in my surroundings. All I wanted was the opportunity to “accidentally” bump into him. I saw him walk through a double door. And Yes! My cue. I tapped Vincent and told him to wish me luck.

I got up and almost fell under the weight of my dress. It suddenly felt heavy. I guess it’s because I was nervous. I had my lines ready. I was gonna step into whatever was beyond those doors and pretend I was looking for the loo. That always works in movies, right? I took a deep breath, pushed the doors and found myself in some sort of garden/pool area. I was lost in all the beauty when Kunle’s cough cut through. Took me a moment to compose myself.

“Oh, sorry. Was looking for the loo. I must have entered the wrong door”, I said. Lier, I giggled within me.

” it’s okay, i was…..”, he was cut short by some chick who stepped in. 

“OH, great”. I thought. “Can’t you see we were having a moment?”, I wanted to scream. I watched her walk by and guess where she was headed? To my very own Kunle. I was tempted to grab her by her perfect hair, drag her to the pool and drown her. Who has ass this big anyways? I bet her boobs are fake too. She’s probably wearing 5 layers of waist trainers. I mean, who has such ridiculously thin waist naturally? All these thoughts in less than five seconds. I watched her whisper something to him and was yet to recover from the sudden outburst of jealousy when she kissed him. On the lips.

Now, have never gotten kicked in the guts before but that was exactly how I felt. Short of breathe, with my head spinning, I didn’t notice her stepping out. Matter of fact, I had no idea how I stepped out and found myself at the bar. At this moment, I just wanted to rip my dress as it was getting in the way. Thing wouldn’t fit in the bar seat. I ordered two shots of their strongest drink. The bar tender murmured something about it being too early to get drunk but I didn’t care. I downed both shots at a go. I totally forgot I hadn’t eaten anything solid in the past two days all in a bid to fit into my stupid dress. The booze hit my system with full force.

I felt someone grip me by the elbow and I looked up to see Kunle’s face. Or was it Victor’s? I couldn’t tell.  I was half dragged back to my table and tried to act normal. My head was spinning, my eyes were droopy, I just wanted to go home. But it would be selfish of me to make Victor leave the party. At this point, Victor started on how he told me this was a bad idea, how he shouldn’t have agreed to it, he didn’t wanna see me hurt myself, how I needed to let go of Kunle and all. And right on cue, I saw Kunle dancing with his big-ass-fake-boobs-artificial-waisted goddess. I couldn’t take it anymore.

I told Vincent I wanted to get some fresh air. I walked into the garden, grabbing a pocket knife from the bar on my way (people really need to stop leaving knives lying around like that). I removed my shoes, and was gonna remove my dress but I changed my mind. I needed to have my dress on for what I had planned. I walked further into the garden, towards the pool edge when I heard the double door close. I turned to see who just ruined my private party.

Our eyes met. Then his eyes moved from my face to my hand. He started to walk towards me and I didn’t hesitate.

To be continued. 

Photo Credit: Google Images

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